Served with Divorce Papers in North Carolina: What to Do Now
A Summons and Complaint start deadlines in District Court. Learn what the papers mean, how to protect your rights, and the steps to take this week.
First steps after service
Calendar the deadline
You usually have 30 days to file an Answer. Most counties allow one 30 day extension on request.
File a Notice of Appearance
Stops default risk and ensures you get scheduling notices and court orders.
Preserve your claims
Counterclaim for Equitable Distribution, Post Separation Support, Alimony, Child Custody, and Child Support where appropriate.
Ask for temporary relief
Temporary custody, child support, post separation support, or exclusive possession when facts call for it.
Gather documents
Tax returns, pay stubs, bank and retirement statements, mortgage and titles, childcare and insurance records.
Safety planning
Discuss 50B protective orders and emergency custody if there is a risk of harm.
What you will learn
- Understand your papers
- Deadlines and extensions
- Preserve property and support rights
- Temporary and emergency orders
- Parenting and child-focused planning
- Money and budgets
- Mediation and settlement
- If your spouse ignores the case
- Service, venue, and jurisdiction
- What happens after the Answer
- Related NC guides
- Common questions
Understand your papers
Most people receive a Civil Summons and a Complaint. The Complaint lists the claims. Look for requests about custody, child support, Equitable Distribution, Post Separation Support, and Alimony. Keep the envelope and any proof of service. Note any hearing dates or motions included with the packet.
- Summons starts the timer to Answer.
- Complaint lists facts and claims your spouse seeks.
- Notices may include a hearing date or mediation information.
Deadlines and extensions
You usually have 30 days from service to file an Answer. Many counties allow one 30 day extension by consent or motion. Ask a lawyer to file a Notice of Appearance and seek the extension early. Missing the deadline risks default and orders you may not want.
Preserve property and support rights
To protect Equitable Distribution and Alimony, you must assert these claims before the court signs the Absolute Divorce. File counterclaims for Equitable Distribution, Post Separation Support, Alimony, Child Custody, and Child Support as needed. If you wait, you can lose property and support rights.
Deep dives: Property Division in NC and Alimony in NC.
Temporary and emergency orders
Temporary custody keeps a stable schedule while the case moves forward. Temporary child support and post separation support can help with bills. When there is a risk of harm or removal from the state, ask about emergency custody and 50B protective orders. Courts can also set exclusive possession of the residence in the right facts.
Parenting and child-focused planning
North Carolina follows the best interest standard. Build a practical plan that fits school, childcare, and medical needs. Keep a clean log of exchanges and events. Many counties require custody mediation before trial.
Learn more in NC Child Custody and use the NC parenting plan checklist.
Money and budgets
Start a simple monthly budget. Gather income proof and regular expenses. Child support uses guideline worksheets that account for income, health insurance, childcare, and extraordinary costs. Post separation support and alimony look at need and ability to pay.
See NC Child Support and Alimony in NC.
Mediation and settlement paths
Many families settle in mediation or by a Separation Agreement that covers custody, support, and property. Some use collaborative law. If settlement fails, the case moves to hearings and trial in District Court.
Explore Mediation in NC Family Cases and Separation Agreements in NC.
If your spouse ignores the case
You can seek default. Judges often still require proof for custody and support. Always check that your own claims are preserved before asking for an Absolute Divorce.
Service, venue, and jurisdiction
- Service can be by sheriff, certified mail, or an approved method. If you were not served properly, raise it with your attorney.
- Venue is usually where either spouse lives.
- UCCJEA controls custody jurisdiction. NC usually needs six months of child residence before filing with narrow exceptions.
What happens after the Answer
Cases move through discovery, mediation, status conferences, and hearings. Keep communication civil. Assume texts and emails may be exhibits. Do not delete content. Keep your calendar current and save all court notices.
Related NC family law guides
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Common questions
How much time do I have to respond?
You usually have 30 days to Answer. You can often get one 30 day extension. Ask about filing a Notice of Appearance and a motion for extension.
Can I lose property or support rights?
Yes if claims are not filed before the Absolute Divorce is granted. Preserve Equitable Distribution, Post Separation Support, and Alimony with counterclaims.
Do I have to mediate?
Many counties require custody mediation. Property cases often mediate too. If settlement fails, District Court sets hearings and trial.